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We All Have Our Vices

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Remember that tall, skinny, redheaded kid named Gordon you were in the 6th Grade with – how he was sort of quiet and didn’t really talk to anyone and wore glasses? How about how he moved away in the middle of 7th Grade and even though you were never really friends with him and always thought he was sort of a geek, you still wondered whatever happened to him? You wondered whether maybe he turned out okay after all? Maybe he even embraced his awkwardness and turned it into a Joey Ramone-esque asset, bought some skinny jeans, grew his hair out, started a band, and even got an American Apparel model girlfriend – but he’s now too cool to even put his arm around her so he just kind of leans on her while people take his picture? Nah, I’m sure that didn’t happen.

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