Nike's Nu-Rave Marketing Ploy

I’ve always been fascinated/disturbed by secret societies, but this time I’m simply disgusted. Yesterday’s WWD contained a horrifying article about Nike’s latest attempt to ruin the world, this time through an invitation only series of fitness classes called Project: Classified, held here in New York. It sounds innocuous enough, until their marketing people open their mouths and vomit up things like “Our reputation precedes us. To be asked is to want to participate” and compare Project: Classified with “a place on a Birkin bag wait list or reservations at the Waverly Inn.” Really? Launched in April of 2006 with the “Gotham Workout” class, each fitness event is held in a “raw space” with an esoteric idea behind it (the Emigrant Industrial Savings Bank as a metaphor for “the levels of access and security that conceal something valuable”). There’s a warehouse party rip-off vibe about the whole thing: “Project: Classified swarms in, permeates a space and then leaves. The venues are unexpected, readapted, overtaken.” Well I’m overtaken with nausea. I don’t do faux-cool marketing initiatives, so Nike, if any of your be-suited gentlemen arrive at my apartment bearing one of your cardboard (“a material often used to hide or protect”) invitations bearing Project: Classified’s cicada (“heard but rarely seen”) logo, you can be sure that your reputation does indeed precede you, but that to be asked isn’t necessarily to want to participate.

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